Don't trust anyone... If you want something, Get it yourself!!!

Well I realized that if you want something, get it yourself. Don't trust anyone, even if it is your own closest family member. I got this hard lesson recently, around 15 May 06. Well I know it is a month back but I have battling within myself to come to terms with what happened but the angst is still inside of me. It just will not go away.

Well I had asked my mum (someone who knows me in & out and someone whom I will trust my life completely with) to get something very precious for me. And I really wanted this very badly. But what did she do? She didn't make a real effort to get it for me. And worse of all, she let her ego get in the way and this caused me to lose my 'precious' FOREVER!!

I dono whats gonna happen when mum returns back. But one thing for sure is that I will never be the same again. Something inside of me has changed. I have never felt so much outburst of angst. Tried to tell myself that certain things happen for a reason and there may be a silver lining in the clouds... but I still can't see that Bloody freakin silver lining.

The anger outbursts are getting so bad that I just dono how to deal with it. One moment I can be so calm and the next, I am freaking mad with so much rage. Tried seeking solace in my faith but it isn't helping much.

ARRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

NEVER TRUST ANYONE...NOT EVEN YOUR CLOSE FAMILY MEMBERS COS EVERYONE HAS THEIR OWN AGENDAS.

IF YOU WANT SOMETHING, GET IT YOURSELF. ELSE YOU WILL ALWAYS REGRET & WONDER WHAT IF YOU WENT TO GET IT INSTEAD OF SOMEONE ELSE. WOULD THE OUTCOME HAVE TURNED OUT DIFFERENTLY??